convenience is not a fruit of the spirit

“Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.’” Luke 19:9

If you’re seeking the lost, so should I. I so often want to seek and save the people who I’m comfortable around. The friends who agree with me. The people who encourage me…. but you want me to focus on the least, the last, the lost. Yes, discipleship is important, but I was lost once. Very lost. Entirely lost. And it was the love of people who had no reason to love me that drew me to you. It wasn’t the fear of hell. It wasn’t understanding my sin. It was just overwhelming love.

“When you know love, you know Me.”

And when I met you, I could never go back. I could never go back to the way things were before. Sure, the seasons change. There are moments when your presence is so heavy, and then there are times when it’s so light I wonder if You’re there at all.

But your presence - me feeling your presence - has a lot less to do with you, and a lot more to do with me. My awareness of you can be numbed by the idols I like to use. Social media, TV, music … just some of the ways I like to numb the feeling of your presence. Isn’t it interesting that these are also some of the ways that I can connect with you? They aren’t inherently bad, but my heart towards you is different when I use them sometimes. I don’t know why I insist on avoiding you sometimes…

“Are you afraid?”

Maybe I am afraid. What would I fear?

“Do you fear what I may ask of you?”

Oh… yes. All the time. I’m constantly worried about what you’ll ask me, because you always seem to want to get me out of my comfort zone, and I enjoy being comfortable. I enjoy things being convenient.

“Convenience isn’t a fruit of the spirit.”

Yup. Maybe we could add one?

“Gentleness is a fruit though.”

Yeah. I should probably work on that one too.

“I have all of the fruits. I’ll be gentle with you when you come to me.”

You are gentle with me. Even when I mess up… daily, hourly, minute-by-minute, you still deal gently with me. Leading and guiding me like a shepherd with his sheep. And I’m grateful. I don’t have the words to describe how grateful I am for your gentleness.

“The words don’t matter to me as much as the action.”

I am going to try to be led by you and not my desire for convenience.