the dance

It’s like a dance you and me. One minute I’m spinning into your arms, and the next I’m spinning away. But it’s ok, because even though it feels as though I’m far from you the beat of life brings us back in step with one another again. The beauty of a dance, a story, a life is the back and forth sway - the ups and downs. It’s the closeness that allows us to recognize the distance, and the distance that allows me to recognize how close you can come to me.

“I’ll always draw near to you when you let me.”

I want to let you daily. I want you closer every minute, but the closeness scares me because the closeness brings with it a yielding - a knowing that I am not my own. I am yours - fully - intimately. When you’re close it feels as though I am swallowed up whole - totally over come by you. and it’s not a bad thing, but it is scary and hard to define and explain. I have to decrease so that you can increase, and I want to and I don’t all at the same time.

“A dance of death and resurrection.”

And it’s the death I hate, but what I hate even more is the ache I feel when I don’t die to myself and you depart from me. It’s you departing that’s a fate worse than the death of my ego and pride and will and body. The closeness I crave - it’s almost all I can take when I know that eventually the world will keep moving and everyday life will come between me and the closeness of you. But you so sweetly, so gently come and tap me on the shoulder when the world gets too much and you whisper your proposal to run away with you. Will I say yes this time? Will I go with you to that hidden place and find out more and more of you?

“I’ll never stop asking.”

Never stop asking me to run away with you.

“I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Even when I’m scared - especially when I’m scared - I’ll runaway with you - for you. Seeking and searching I’ll run until I find you and we’ll dance until I see you more clearly than I did before.

“I’ll whisper the secrets of my heart to you.”