unconditionally

“You don’t love people well.”

Ouch. God. I try! They don’t love me well! I don’t think it’s fair for me to love others well when they could care less about me.

“That’s not how I love.”

How do you love?

“Without expectations.”

I have lots of expectations. I want people to act the way I would act and love the way I would love. or maybe I wouldn’t want them to love me the way I love. Often my love is insufficient. Often my love is petty, forgetful, and selfish. My love is sometimes contingent on how much food or sleep I’ve gotten that day and not always focused on the other person that needs love. How do I love people without expectations?

“Be aware of what your expectations are and then give them to me.”

What if this expectations aren’t met?

“I’ll keep them safe for you.”

What if I need them to be met for me?

“Then I’ll meet them or point out why you don’t need them.”

Perhaps I can hold onto my expectations of others for a little longer, because I feel very scared that I’m going to get walked on like a doormat.

“Boundaries and expectations are different. Boundaries have clear parameters and consequences. It’s clear, precise, and doesn’t worry about the future. Expectations try to control others for a future that you want.”

Ah… boundaries leave free will and choice up to the other person. Expectations try to control and put the other person in a box. It reminds me of the your commandments. Those boundaries you gave us, advice from the Almighty, about how to live the strongest life possible. But even when we sin - you still love us. Your love isn’t based on expectations.

“My love isn’t based on boundaries either. Boundaries have nothing to do with love and everything to do with distance.”

Is that why when we sin or break a boundary we feel distant from you?

“I will never leave or forsake you, but you have the choice to leave and forsake me. I’ll give you everything, but you have to take it.”